I would like to dedicate this writing to Morgan. I love getting together with you, I love our conversations, and most of all I love your beautiful soul. You have touched my life in so many ways and I look forward to all the adventures ahead of us. I couldn’t be more grateful for our friendship.
Food is a conductor and a connector. It conveys information from the earth, provides us with energy, and gives us an opportunity to gather and share. When we eat more than our bodies need and gain weight, this can happen for a variety of reasons. In this writing, I am not going to talk about weight gain related to our genes, hormones, medical problems or past life trauma. I am going to talk about weight gain influenced by our emotions and the people surrounding us. There is no doubt in my mind that we can lose weight without examining the underlining causes of eating issues – I did it myself – but we will remain hungry until these causes are allowed to come to the surface and are dealt with.
I was born a healthy baby and grew as a healthy child but something changed when I reached my teenage years. That was the time when I really started noticing the world around me and I suddenly felt myself surrounded by all kinds of opinions, emotions and expressions: love, kindness, trust, wisdom, compassion as well as judgement, mockery, discipline and betrayal.
The question is, how do you react to these? How do you navigate yourself among the different opinions and emotions? And what happens if you are so sensitive that you are able to sense all the different energies around you? You begin absorbing them, without even realizing it.
At the time I didn’t know I was an intuitive. I didn’t know how important it was to clear myself of others’ energies and to protect myself so that I wouldn’t absorb them all. For people who are sensitive to energies, food serves as a way to ground themselves, to boost their vitality, and to shield themselves. The layers of fat serve as an insulation, a barrier from the outside world.
I often felt drained and exhausted when I was among people. And as a student, I was among people all the time. I also had this need to create peace and harmony around me. To make everybody happy. What a futile idea. Trying to please people was the greatest waste of my energies. And it well continued in my adult life. Turning to food as a way to re-energize myself when I felt depleted and to protect myself from negativity, disharmony and judgement was an unconscious choice.
When I entered adulthood, I became more confident about myself. I was slowly finding my way and didn’t feel such a strong need to please others any more. I learned about nutrition and managed to lose the excess weight. But it was not easy. I was always hungry. I felt I was fighting a constant battle. So what was I hungry for? Was I trying to substitute happiness with food? Filling the emptiness inside? Yes, I was. No matter how happy or joyful are lives seem to be at times, we can still have regret, a lack of fulfillment or loneliness.
I was not on my path. I was not doing what I came here to do. Once I realized this and had the courage to make changes, my whole life has changed. I realized that what makes me full and fulfilled is knowing that I am on my path. The excitement I feel every day about the things I’m working on. The love, joy and peace of mind that comes from knowing that I am following my calling. Food will not give me this. This only comes from an inner peace and knowing. Knowing that I am love and I am fulfilling my purpose.
This is a process. Not every day is the same. Some days are smooth sailing and other times I stumble. But I am going in the right direction.
Today food serves its purpose. It gives my body energy, brings me messages from Mother Earth, and creates a space for my family and the people I love to gather and share.
In the process of finding my path and finding a way to fill myself with joy, I also learned how to protect myself from getting drained. Every morning I surround myself with beautiful pure white Light which not only heals and energizes me but also serves as a protective shield around me. This energy shield prevents me from getting drained and tired when I’m around people. Regularly clearing myself of energies and using a protective layer of light helps me avoid the need to protect myself with food.
If you feel good about yourself, your days and how your life flows, you will find that you don’t need food as a substitute. Once you have that inner love and light, you can always tap into it. Staying the course will not always be easy. You will encounter challenges and obstacles. As the days go by, the light within you may be stronger or quieter, but it is always going to be there. That inner glow will fill you up and your body will start to desire food that is more natural, healthful, and nutritious. Your motivation to exercise and stay fit will soar. And eventually your desire to turn your relationship with food from stressful to peaceful becomes a reality.